


And Hold Me Here (Be Forever Near)

by dalfattais1836



Category: Jeffree Star (Musician), Sesame Street (US TV), She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018), Shrek (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Stripper/Exotic Dancer, Birth, Breeding Kink, Cannibalism, Cheating, Divorce, Elmo is able to legally consent (due to Shrek's magical sperm), Extreme cringe, Heavy Angst, Its everyday bro, Jeffree Star is cannibalized, Logan vs. Jake, Love at First Sight, Marriage Proposal, Mpreg, Multi, Murder, Obama drowns people in his cum, Public Sex, Rap Battles, Read at Your Own Risk, Rimming, Shadow Weaver lives in a bush on the side of the road, Sibling Rivalry, Size Kink, Tapeworms, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Vore, Voyeurism, and everyone clapped, but its really romantic, catra is so depressed she becomes straight, miss keisha dies, shane dawson has a cat fetish
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-13 03:08:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29146455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dalfattais1836/pseuds/dalfattais1836
Summary: When Adora falls in love with Trisha Paytas in a strip club, their union causes a chain of events that bring true love and happiness to the universe.ORI was on a livestreaming on tiktok and we decided to write these horrendous crackships...
Relationships: Adora (She-Ra)/Obama, Adora (She-Ra)/Trisha Paytas, Catra (She-Ra)/Shane Dawson, Glimmer (She-Ra)/Elmo, Hordak (She-Ra)/Jake Paul, Sea Hawk (She-Ra)/Shrek, Shadow Weaver | Light Spinner (She-Ra)/Jeffree Star
Comments: 17
Kudos: 17





	1. I Love You Jesus

**Author's Note:**

> Title comes from Fourth of July by Aidan Gallagher  
> Chapter Title comes from I Love You Jesus by Trisha Paytas

Trisha Paytas was flailing gracefully along her pole as she raked in the money from her shift as a world class stripper. She wasn't used to being attracted to clients, being erotic was just part of the job. Plus, her fiance Moses would not be happy if she was enjoying the lap dance she was giving to Miss Keisha. But when SHE walked in. The girl with the broad muscular shoulders, the tight high ponytail with a poof of hair sitting atop her head like a crown for the queen that she is, Trisha couldn't help but collapse onto Miss Keisha subsequently suffocating and killing her (it's anyones guess as to whether or not it was murder). 

Hopping off of Miss Keisha's corpse, Trisha waltzed over to the front where Adora had walked in. "Hi, mmmmm" Trisha smirked, lip injections on full display. 

"Hey mamas!" Adora quips back as she played with her ponytail coyly. 

Trisha laughs heartily and grabs Adora's hand to bring her up on stage. "Can you show me a few tricks? mmmm?" Trisha winks as she rips off her itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini.

Adora says nothing in response and instead snaps her fingers, widening by the second. 

Trisha orgasms on the spot. W i d e a d o r a catches her as she collapses onto the ground. "That was better than any orgasm I've ever had, mmmm" Trish confesses.

W i d e a d o r a smiles broadly, holding up a thick finger, "Can't wait to see what this does then."  
  
Trisha gasps as W i d e a d o r a enters her. Cumming again instantly. 

"W i d e a d o r a? Will you marry me? MMM?" Trisha asks desperately as she was already on her knees, and plucked a used ring pop from her wig.

"Of course," W i d e a d o r a replies.

They leave in Trisha's pink G wagon and get married at city hall, happy as can be. 


	2. SUPERLUV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title is from Shane Dawson's song SUPERLUV

When Catra heard the news that Adora had left her for Trisha Paytas she fell into a depression the likes of which she had never felt before.

In order to numb the pain she went to a bar one night. The same bar that Shane Dawson was at. When Catra stepped in she instantly felt drawn to the alluring red-headed man scratching his hemorrhoids at the far end of the bar. His neck had a massive pimple on it that Catra wanted to pop between her teeth. 

She moaned at the thought, causing him to turn around. When she saw the beautiful craftsmanship of his makeup caked onto his face, Catra lurched forward and jumped into his lap, her tail flicking against his inner thigh. 

"Hey Shaaaaane Dawson," Catra purred against his ear. Shane was unable to blush because his face was already red from rosacea or something, but Catra knew that his face was burning up. 

"Hey whats up you guys, YES!" Shane replied, his adam's apple bobbing in his throat. "What's your name, Queen?"

"Meow Meow, Catra Meow Meow, and you?" Catra flicked her ear flirtatiously. 

"I? Shane Yaw (my real name), go on record and say that I am not a fucking PDF file!" He dashes his eyes up and down Catra's fuzzy body. "But I do have a thing fur fucking cats." *debby ryan smirks* 😏

"Well, I have a thing, for men who piss in bottles," Catra whips back a reply faster than Shane can order another diet root beer. 

Without another word Shane grabs her by her tail and pulls her onto the dance floor, grinding onto the base of her tail. "My ex-lover Cheeto, used to love this..." He growled.

one thing leads to another and Catra is back in Shane and Ryland's bed weeping as SHane fucks all her sadness out of her. She weeps tears of joy. Shane isn't very big, and he doesn't know what to do really (he had spent too much time with bussy apparently), but he was so full of emotion that Catra couldn't help but be pleasured. That's what you get for making love to an empath, she supposes. 

When they wake up the next morning, Shane wakes her up with a kiss. "You know, last time I fucked a cat I killed it." 

Catra blushes. "Well, you killed it this time too, hubby!" A lilt of flirtation on her lips. 

Shane smiles and they lived happily ever after.


	3. It's Everyday Bro

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title is from Jake Paul's Song It's Everyday Bro

Hordak sat in line at the store with his wedding gift for Trish and Adora in his hands. 

A man approaches from behind him and with that disney channel flow says, "I just dropped some new merch and it's selling like a god church!"

Hordak turns to see the young man, his nose slightly off kilter in an endearing way. "Why would I care?" He says gruffly, but he can feel the heat of endearment warm his cold heart.

"Who the HELL are flippin' YOU?" Jake retorts with a sassy hair flip.

"Hordak." Hordak says.

"I'm Los Angeles, Cali boy But I'm from Ohio though, white boy." Jake shrugs hand extended. Hordak takes it and shakes it feeling his heart flutter. 

"Your name?" He manages without a stutter.

"I cannot be outdone, Jake Paul is number one" Jake says. 

"Nice to meet you Jake." Hordak says as he shifts the gift in his hands to expose his ripped muscles. Just then Logan Paul rips through the store with his Yoda hat framing his big chin. 

"Who is this?" Logan asks kissing Hordak hard against the cash register. Jake visibly fumes and grabs Logan by the shirt. 

"He's mine! PUNK!" Jake snarls.

"Yeah boy? I'm the Maverick! Why, your feelings hurt?" Logan raps furiously at him. Jake looks stunned. He can't believe he's been betrayed by his own brother.

"You need to get your shit straight! Hordak is only gay for me!" Jake retorts, pushing Logan off of his crush. 

Logan smirks wickedly, baring his teeth. "Yeah, I rep that merch, ooh Yes I do in church, ooh" Logan grabs Jake's shirt and shoves him into the parking lot in front of the McDonald's that they're in. 

They start boxing for Hordak's heart. Hordak had left his gift inside as the two muscular men duked it out for his hand in marriage. Hordak was secretly rooting for Jake, but he didn't want to say anything because he knew he would settle for Logan. 

The fight came to a close. Jake was victorious and Shane and Catra jumped out from behind a bush with a camera (they were filming a docuseries together (how romantic)). They congratulated the happy couple as Jake and Hordak held hands and entered Jake's car.

They pull out and pull up beside a pink G wagon at the red light. Trish and Adora beam at them through the window, communicating their support of the couple through their smile.

"Is that your boy's cologne?" Hordak asks as he kisses Jake in the Lambo.

"It's everyday bro!" Jake responds as the light turns green and he drives off into the sunset. 


	4. My Fellow Americans

Trish worked at the strip-club in the evenings, but during the day she delivered pizzas for Domino's and used the money from the extra job to spoil Adora with gifts of adoration. One day while Trish was raking in the dough (and kneading it too), Adora found herself wanting to surprise her lovely wife at work. When she got there, she didn't see Trish, but she did see the handsomest, sexiest, most presidential man ever. 

His name? Was Obama. 

Adora couldn't help herself. She widened and widened and widened until she couldn't widen anymore. The patrons gasped as her body stretched and knocked tables over as her newfound girth displaced them. 

Obama turned to face W i d e a d o r a and smiled. "Hello there, my fellow American! Look at that width, how many children could you bear me?"

W i d e a d o r a panted. She knew her wife was just behind the counter making pizzas, but she couldn't help but be aroused by the man in front of her. "As many as you want, Mr. President," was all W i d e a d o r a could manage without letting a sensual sound slip from her throat. 

Obama smirked back. "I already have two lovely girls, one of them goes to Harvard... But I want more. I want over 9,000 children." 

W i d e a d o r a blushed because she knew that 9,000 children would be a breeze considering her circumference. "Anything for you, Mr. President." She winked a wide eye at him and she could see a bulge forming in his pantaloons which caused her to blush a deeper crimson color. 

Obama gulped at her words, arousal seeping off of skin, Michelle never made him feel like this. He's never been this turned on in his life. "I think I'm in love with you," he stammered sheepishly. His experience public speaking hadn't prepared him for W i d e a d o r a 's sexiness, so he was a complete nervous wreck trying to string sentences together. "An-and I don't even know your name yet!" 

"It's W i d e a d o r a," she bellowed out into the small pizzeria. She knew Trish would hear, but at this point she was so in love with Obama that she didn't care, she was already mentally signing the divorce papers. 

Just as she expected, Trisha burst out to see W i d e a d o r a at the widest she's ever been, and she wasn't looking at Trisha's gaping taint (which usually was able to make her extremely wide), instead she was looking at... Obama? Before Trish could ask why W i d e a d o r a was so aroused and looking at the former president of the United States of America, another woman burst out from the bathroom. 

"OBAMA! I can smell your arousal from the bathroom, why are you horny for W i d e a d o r a, but not me?" Michelle screamed at her husband.

"She can provide me with 9,000 children," Obama explained solemnly. 

"Michelle, let's fight W i d e a d o r a together so I can have my wife back and you can have your president back," Trish yelled over W i d e a d o r a 's widening noises (yes, she was still expanding). The two women rallied together and charged.

Before Obama could say, "Thanks Obama," W i d e a d o r a inhaled Trisha and Michelle as Obama got hornier. 

She burped as the two women settled into her wide stomach. 

"God, that was so hot!" Obama screamed as he ejaculated buckets all over Domino's, drowning the patrons who were clinging for dear life on the tables as W i d e a d o r a was sucking in the air. 

W i d e a d o r a quickly birthed the two women and grabbed Obama's hand and left the pizzeria to start planning their wedding. 

Trish and Michelle were left in a pile of afterbirth crying at the loss of their spouses.

Trish immediately pulled out her camera and began Mukbanging her eating afterbirth with Michelle as they cried their feelings out to the camera.


	5. Get Away With Murder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title from a Jeffree Star song of the same name.
> 
> CW: Shadow Weaver like butchers Jeffree Star idk why it got so graphic but if you can't handle blood and stuff you can skip this.

Jeffree sat in his mansion surrounded by his rat dogs when he got a notification for a new Trisha Paytas video. He opened it up and began watching tears steam down her face, crying about the lost love of her life, Adora. Jeffree, though he was not capable of any human emotion, did feel a slight cramp in his butt implants that he considered sympathy. The twinge of pain reminded him of when Kanye used to spank him when he was being a naughty boy. The reminder of his ex made him horny for Starbucks so he hopped in his pink Rolls Royce and headed down to the coffee shop.

On his way he saw a shadowy figure dart out from some bushes and he ran it over. He didn't give a shit WHAT it was, all he knew was that it was between him and his Pinkity Drinkity. He continued down the road until his car magically stopped. It was surrounded by magic and Jeffree Star could feel his fake teeth chattering. 

He stepped out of the car ready to shoot whatever it was with his AR-15 but he was stopped with the soothing voice of the woman he had run over.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," the woman cooed, a daisy tucked behind her ear. 

"Why not you little bitch?" Jeffree barked, steadying the rifle in his hands. 

"Because I know little Kanye left you, and you haven't been topped in awhile." Shadow Weaver lunged forward and grabbed Jeffree Star's ass tightly. A reptilian growl escaped from his throat. "And I know you want to be." 

Jeffree clenched under her grasp, his grip on the rifle tightening. He lifted his free hand to take off the woman's mask. Before he could she hissed at him.

"Now my little pet, you will wait until I'm through with you before you get to see my face." Jeffree Star didn't listen, he was a boss ass bitch and could do whatever the fuck he wanted. He was Jeffree fucking Star, but not to Shadow Weaver. When she saw that Jeffree wasn't going to listen she tightened her grip on his ass implants and popped, them causing Jeffree to let out a wail of pleasure. 

"Good, my little pet," Shadow weaver raked her claws up his back, basically skinning him alive. Jeffree shivered under her touch. 

"Is this assault?" He asked, but he knew he wanted it.

"Only if you want to be," Shadow Weaver replied plainly, hesitating above his shoulder blade. " _Do_ you want it to be?" 

"No!" Jeffree moaned as Shadow Weaver ripped out his scapula and licked it clean of the blood that was on it. It wasn't a real bone, because most of Jeffree Star had been replaced long ago over the course of many plastic surgeries. "I'm in love with you, BushWoman!" He didn't know her yet, but he didn't care, because she was the woman for him.

"You know, they don't only call me BushWoman because I live in a bush..." Shadow Weaver had a lilt of playfulness to her voice. 

Jeffree Star's bussy quivered at the thought. "Why else do they call you BushWoman?" Jeffree Star moaned. 

At his question Shadow Weaver ripped off her robes to reveal what had been promised. A massive bush. What Jeffree didn't expect was to see a 16 inch tentacle dildo pointing right at his face. 

Jeffree immediately turned around and sat on it. He could feel his inside's get rearranged. Literally. His kidney's began to fall out of the gaping holes that the popped implants left in his ass. 

When he came, Shadow Weaver ripped out his heart. She ripped off her mask and took a bite out of it like an apple. She placed the heart back inside of Jeffree Star and he came back to life with the power of love and he kissed her. He was so in love with BushWoman. 

"Come now child-" 

"I don't know if I can, that was the most intense orgasm of life!" 

"I meant get up you fool!" Shadow Weaver barked at him. They walked back to Jeffree's mansion together hand in hand. Before they entered, Jeffree waved to his neighbor and ex-lover Kanye West, beaming at his new girlfriend. 

He immediately texted his enemy James Charles' too to make him jealous. "I dare you to find a lover who loves you as much as BushWoman loves me!" Jeffree sent the text along with a photo of his popped ass. _There's no way James will ever know a love like mine_ , he mused. 


	6. Somebody Once Told Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title from Smash Mouth's All Star

Sea Hawk bounded his way into the reception of W i d e a d o r a and Obama's wedding. It was a lovely ceremony, even if W i d e a d o r a 's girth filled up half the cathedral (she hadn't been able to stop from expanding ever since she met Obama, their love was THAT powerful).

Though he would never admit it, Sea Hawk was rather jealous. He and Mermista were on a break and he was lonely, he wanted a love like Obadora's. Even Shane and Catra (affectionately referred to as Shatra by their friends) were amicably shooting the wedding video for the newlywed couple and looked as in love as can be. Who knew that turning straight could cure Catra's depression?

Sea Hawk huffed and wistfully thought of love. He wanted to sail the seas and commit arson with the love of his life, and even though he dearly cared for Mermista, he knew that she did not feel the same way about him. It broke his heart. 

But then.

The sea of attendees parted and there stood a strong and husky man the color of grass. Sea Hawk's heart skipped a beat and waltzed over to the man.

"OOOOOOOOOOOH" He began to sing, the man turned around to face him and Sea Hawk immediately felt a presence within his bowls. 

"I'm Shrek," said Shrek in a thick Scottish accent. 

"I am Sea Hawk, swashbuckler extraordinaire, and I would love to dance with you, kind sir."

Shrek cautiously took his hand and belched shaking Sea Hawk in his boots. It smelled like rancid garbage, but Sea Hawk savored the aroma.

"So, what're you doing at the wedding?" Shrek asked as he lead Sea Hawk into a dip. 

"I am dear friends with W i d e a d o r a, we met a long ago during the war," Sea Hawk explained. "May I ask the same of you, dearest?" 

Before Shrek could respond Sea Hawk felt a flutter against the skin on his stomach. He leapt back in shock to see that he was roughly 9 months pregnant. 

"wha-" Sea Hawk screeched. The entire party had stopped and they were staring at Sea Hawk and his belly. 

"Sorry..." Shrek muttered. "I forgot to take my birth control and I am known to be VERY potent and fertile." 

"But we never- We haven't- I haven't had the pleasure of having you inside of me yet!" Sea Hawk was overjoyed that he was about to have Shrek's baby, but he was so confused as to how it was even possible.

"I am so fertile that I can will someone to be pregnant just by wanting to have sex with them," Shrek continued. 

"You... want to have sex with me?" Sea Hawk could feel himself get aroused at the thought (at least more aroused than he already was).

"Of course, Sea Hawk!" With that Shrek bent Sea Hawk over the table, careful to not hurt the precious cargo contained deep within Sea Hawk's bussy. 

"ADVENTUH!" Sea Hawk moaned as Shrek's ogre-cock entered him. The rest of the reception watched as Shrek claimed what was his. Mermista began to cry tears of joy, even though it hurt to know that she wasn't the one pegging Sea Hawk, it helped to know that Sea Hawk was with his true love. 

"OOOOOOOOOH" Sea Hawk sang a shanty to the beat of Shrek's thrusts. When Shrek released his load inside of Sea Hawk and pulled his pants up, everyone clapped.

"THANKS FOR THE SHOW!" W i d e a d o r a bellowed across the audience. The Pope winked at Sea Hawk as if he knew something that he didn't.

Just then, Sea Hawk felt a contraction. A BIG ONE.

"I'm going to give birth!" Sea Hawk wailed. Glimmer rushed forward. 

"Calm down everyone! I'm a nurse, I'll get you to the nearest hospital." Shrek and Sea Hawk exchanged a chaste kiss as they piled into Glimmer's car and headed off to deliver their baby.

When they got there, Sea Hawk was already crowning. 

"THE BABY'S COMING!" Sea Hawk yelled as they sat him in stirrups in a delivery room. 

Shrek leaned into Sea Hawk's ear and whispered "Just like you were not 20 minutes ago!"

Sea Hawk moaned as the baby pressed up against his prostate causing him to nut again. 

Glimmer shoved her hand up Sea Hawk's ass (platonically) and pulled the baby out, handing it to the proud parents. The baby was red and fuzzy all over, with the cutest orange nose.

"What's his name?" Glimmer asked.

"I think we'll name him Elmo," Shrek responded, mesmerized by his son's beauty.

"Shrek is love, Shrek is life," Sea Hawk exclaimed, excited to have finally found his true love. 

ARTIST CREDIT: @crunchdoodles on all platforms


	7. It's Elmo's World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title from Whatever song Elmo sings
> 
> NOTE: Because Elmo's life history is so out of whack because he was conceived by Shrek's magical and potent sperm, he is of the developmental stage in his life where he is able to actually consent despite being only a few minutes old.

Glimmer took Elmo away for a check-up after he was introduced to his fathers.

"Hi I'm Glimmer!" Glimmer said booping Elmo on the nose, "and we're going to give you a check-up." 

"Hi Glimmer! Elmo's so excited to be getting checked up by a sexy bitch like you." Elmo squeaked in his voice. 

Glimmer blushed and began placing her stethoscope along Elmo's hairy back. Elmo shivered under her touch. 

"Are you Elmo's mommy?" Elmo asked seductively. He had become a full grown man before Glimmer's eyes, complete with rippling muscles and a growing member.

"Wha- Elmo!" Glimmer gasped as Elmo stood up on the examination table displaying his elmohood proudly. Glimmer's mouth watered at the thought of what it might taste like. 

Shrek and Sea Hawk came over to the table and winked at Glimmer. "You two kids be careful now, wouldn't want another unplanned pregnancy," Shrek chuckled warmly at Sea Hawk and the pair headed back to the car to go back to the wedding. 

Glimmer was left alone with Elmo, who had grown from a measly baby into a chad within seconds. It was honestly kind of hot. 

"Elmo can sense a sickness within you," Elmo chirped as he lifted up Glimmer's skirt and began licking around her bum. 

"Elmo! What are you doing?" Of course Glimmer enjoyed it. How could she not? Even though Elmo was born two minutes ago, he had the experience of a sex addict. Bow couldn't compete with that, so Glimmer gladly let Elmo rim her. 

After a few moments she felt a furious sucking and something exiting her system. It made her orgasm. She turned around to see Elmo slurping up a long grey noodle. 

"Elmo was right, you had a tape worm," he winked as he patted his rippling abs and belched just like his father. Glimmer was so shocked that Elmo cared that much about her that he would suck a tape worm out of her ass for her, Bow would never do that. She wanted to return the favor. She knew that Elmo sacrificed himself to save her so she did what any lover would do... She teleported into his stomach. 

It was surprisingly spacious, and she found the tape worm and ripped it apart with her bare hands. She could hear muffled moans coming from Elmo as she moved around in his stomach so she kept squirming in hopes that she could pleasure him as much as he pleasured her not moments before. While she moved around she could feel some of the cake that Sea Hawk had eaten earlier that Elmo must have absorbed in the bussy-womb.

She felt his body overcome with an intense orgasm and she teleported out just in time to see his beautiful face contorted in the thralls of passion. His pleasure made her come again. 

After they both came down they held each other tenderly. 

"Thank you so much Elmo," Glimmer said as she planted a kiss on his cheek. 

"You're welcome," Elmo said as he grabbed her hand and lead them back to the car so they could share their first dance together at Glimmer's best friend's wedding. 


End file.
